Title: No Matter What
Pairing: Addek
Rating: G
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual. All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author’s Note: This is probably the shortest drabble to ever be written in history, but I loved it too much to let it sit and not be read. So, my first Addek…
_____________________________________________________________________________________

No matter what. No matter how hard we try, no matter how hard we wish, no matter how desperately we pray that our world could stop around us while we fix things in between, it doesn’t stop. The issues we create, the hardships through which we try and prevail, the happy endings that seem to slip from our reach the second we get close. Two steps forward, three steps back. We can sit in a silent, dark corner and will the Earth to stop dead on its axis, and we may even think it does, but no matter what, whether or not our world stops, the world around us keeps spinning, and we’re going with it. The world doesn’t stop for anyone, or anything, for any reason. Whether you’re happy or heartbroken, you can’t stay in that moment forever. And sooner or later, sooner or later you’re going to have to move on, and continue spinning with those around you. No matter what.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

It’s such a silly game of back and forth. The picking of the flowers, reciting “he loves me… he loves me not.” Do we think that crap actually works? I didn’t, but then I met him, and now, now I just want this to be love. I married him on a summer’s day in May, and we promised all the love our hearts could possibly give. It’s like the fairytale ending, only this time it’s not a dream. My name isn’t Cinderella, it’s Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd. He’s my prince charming, and this is my castle. It’s all a happily-ever-after, wrapped up in one little kiss.

Thoughts?

Title: I’ve Loved You Since Day One
Pairing: Addex – One Shot
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.ll television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author’s Note: Set just a few months after Addison leaves for California. All of the original interns are still interns, and Lexie is added in that group, just for fun. Don’t hesitate to tell me what you think. Hope you like it!

*Oh, and the italicized phrases that come about randomly in the chapter are thoughts of the main characters that are currently talking in the present.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

It was busy today, just like every other day. Nurses, interns, and surgeons crowded the hallways, carrying on various conversations including the latest gossip, which was actually about the superb surgeon herself. Addison Montgomery stood numb with her ankles crossed gracefully at the Seattle Grace nurses’ station watching the blur of people passing by her. Her short stay in Los Angeles, Santa Monica to be more exact, turned out to be just that. After a year of being away from Seattle, aside from a few short visits, she was back gracing the halls of the well-known hospital once again. Now just six hours after arriving, she had her finished contract in hand, all she had to do was sign it and she’d officially be back. Back to Seattle, back to civilization, back to being a double board certified neonatal surgeon, and back to Addison Forbes Montgomery Shep-

“Shit.” Addison murmured under her breath. It had been two years since the divorce, and yet she still often forgot that the last part of her name, one of her favorite parts and used to be one of the most important parts of her identity, had vanished with two signatures.

After the divorce, there had been Pete, the quack, who was really just a quick distraction from all of the changes going on in her life. They had grown to be good friends, but nothing more. She didn’t want more, and he made it perfectly clear that he didn’t either when he stood her up. Then there was Kevin, and he was… special. He made her feel alive, and gave her the hope that she could feel a love for another person, maybe even Kevin, like she did for Derek. He turned out to be just the safe choice, and in the end it didn’t work out, like everything else ended up lately. The latest “fling” or really whatever you chose to call it was Wyatt. If you considered a spur-of-the-moment, needy kiss to be anything at all. She sure as hell did. One after the other, they all ended, and she was stuck back here; alone, and in desperate need of some attention from the opposite sex.

It’s not that she didn’t constantly have another guy throwing himself at her feet, but she wanted more. If she thought that she wanted the white picket fence and barbeque before, well she was wrong. She wanted it now more than ever, and she was done waiting for it. She couldn’t help but think that maybe, quite possibly, her chance had already passed her by. Maybe she would be alone in the end.

 For sixteen years she only saw her future with one man, Derek Christopher Shepherd. Now he was engaged. Memories flooded in as she pondered how the hell she was supposed to get through his upcoming nuptials with Ms. Meredith Grey in one piece.

.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.

She gazed down with glassy eyes at her discovery. No, that wasn’t the right word, because that would mean she was pleased with what she had found, and she was anything but pleased. Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd had always been the girl to pick herself back up and continue trying, but damn it how many times did she need to hurl herself off of the ground before Derek stopped pushing her down?

The nausea that had clouded her before had been lifted, giving her a chance to take a deep breath and think about how she was really feeling. Truth be told, she was trying her hardest not to let her emotions come pouring out of her. Sure she felt relieved and hurt and a million other things, but Addison wasn’t the type to openly display her emotions.

 Any normal person would be curled up in a ball, trying desperately to wipe the tears from their eyes if they were in her situation; if their husbands left their dirty- ex-mistress’s panties in their tux pocket, which is exactly what Derek Shepherd did with Meredith Grey’s. She should’ve known. The bastard was staring at her the whole night. Did Fin notice anything? Did he know anything at all? Maybe she should sleep with the vet, piss him off one last time. God, he was infuriating!

“How did we make it this long?” she asked herself out loud and thought about it for a moment’s time, “he’s been like this for years, why did you wait this long?”

.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.

“Addison?” She was pulled out of her thoughts as Mark bounded down the hallway towards her with a huge grin on his face. “Addie, aren’t you supposed to be in L.A.?” He wrapped his arms around her in a friendly, warm hug and then transferred his weight as he leaned on the nurses’ station, throwing a wink at the newest, most naive one behind the desk before giving Addison his full attention.

“I’m back, Mark.” She studied him and waited for his response and she closed a chart and handed it to a nurse with an appreciative smile.

“Back… to Seattle?”

“That would be-“

“I’m happy you’re back, but surprised, that’s all. I’ve missed you Add, we’ve all missed you. So, how come you’re back? Is this about Karev?”

It was so about Karev.

No it wasn’t, not yet anyway.

Addison knit her eyebrows together and made a confused face. “As in, Alex? Alex Karev?”

“Well yeah, he’s been moping around the pit since you’ve left-”

 “Wait, he isn’t in plastics?”

“Nah, he’s either in the pit or hanging around the Neonatal ward. I knew you were persuasive, but I never thought that you’d get Alex Karev to voluntarily join the Gynie Squad.”

“Yeah… neither did I.” She drew the words out in that famous way of hers.

You were glowing.

I was not!

You were ecstatic to know he liked your specialty!

Okay, so I was.

“So, anything new that I should know about?” She cocked an eyebrow and offered him a small smile. She had to admit that one of her guilty pleasures was embracing, and participating in, the Seattle Grace rumor mill. As long as the said rumors weren’t about her, it was actually rather entertaining hearing about what’s actually going on in the other doctor’s lives.

 Mark thought for a moment before responding, “Well you know Shep is getting married,” Addison nodded her head unenthusiastically, “I’m dating Lexie, Meredith’s half sister, Callie is single currently but I think she’s pining after this new Arizona girl, Chief and Bailey, well there’s nothing really new with them.”

“So Lexie Grey, huh? Why Meredith’s sister, what is so intriguing about that family?” So she’s still a little bitter, but who wouldn’t be? And she honestly wanted to know the answer to that question. First Derek, and now Mark?

 “She reminds me of you.” He watched her expression change to a pleased-shocked type of face.

That was sweet.

I know.

“Me? How so?”

“Her personality is just like yours. She’s there for me when I need her, when I’m hurt she lies with me, when I need someone to talk to she’s by my side, and… you know. I think you two could actually become friends.”

I caught that sexual reference by the way.

…

“Well, we’ll see about the friends thing. She’s changed you, in a good way. I’m happy for you Mark, I really, really am. You deserve to be happy, just don’t screw this up.” She smiled a little smile and began to walk away when Mark called out to her one last time.

“Addison?” She turned on her heel quickly and met his eyes. “It’s really nice to have you back. Like I said, you’ve been missed, by everyone. Oh and, you deserve to be happy too.”

“Thanks Mark. It’s really nice to be back.”

Her heels clicked down the hall as she retreated to her new office. Richard had been telling the truth when he said he’d keep her office open. Everything looked as if she’d never left. She reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a black pen. It was time for her to start her new beginning… again. She signed her name in perfect cursive, blew on the ink to be sure it was completely dry, and walked out of her office with the papers in hand toward Richard’s office.

“Addison?” His voice had a questioning tone, but once he was sure it was her, it became more assertive. “Addison! Wha- what are you doing back? Is that, is that a contract?”

I was pissed.

I know. Personally, I enjoyed it.

I know, it was obvious.

“Derek. Hello,” she spoke with an icy tone, “Yes, it’s a contract, and I’m back. Back, for good. Now excuse me I need to get to Richard’s office to drop this off. He wants me to start as soon as possible.” She couldn’t resist throwing in his face the obvious fact that she was the chief’s favorite, as childish as it was. She knew it would, however, piss him off, the exact reaction that she had been hoping for. And it did.

That was a little bitchy.

You love it when I act that way.

I love it when you act any way.

Shut up, I’m married.

So?

.xoXox.

“Richard! How are you? How’s Adele, the hospital?”

“Addie, it’s great to have you back! Adele is great, the hospital is, getting better in the rankings. Things are going pretty well, better now that I have my star surgeon back.”

“Oh Richard, you knew I wouldn’t be able to stay away too long. You always know, don’t you? I find it slightly sad that you know me better than myself some days.” She glanced away, realizing what she had actually just admitted, and not only to herself, but aloud.

“Addie, how are you? Are you okay? Why did you really leave L.A.? I thought you were happy.”

“I was, at first. I realized that my home is really where my friends, Mark, Derek, Callie, Miranda and everyone, and my family, you and Adele, are at. I couldn’t be away any longer. So, I came back… and here I am. Back to where I started. In Los Angeles I had friends, the practice, the beach and Kevin, but then everything just fell apart. Naomi and I were constantly fighting, Kevin and I broke up, I didn’t even go to the damn beach and-”

You weren’t alright.

No, I wasn’t alright.

“It’s alright, I understand. If you ever need anything you know anyone here would be there for you, especially Adele and I. Just let us know. Now about that contract, I’ll have Patricia file it as soon as she can. Welcome back, Addison.” He grinned brightly and gave her a friendly hug.

“Thank you so much, Richard. I very much appreciate it.” She smiled and walked out the door quickly, closing the door quietly behind her. She took a deep breath. ‘So I’m home. Home, in Seattle. Never thought I’d say that.’ Taking a deep breath she proceeded down the hall to check when her second, first surgery was scheduled.

.xoXox.

“Dr. Montgomery, it looks like I’ll be your intern for today.” Alex Karev stood in front of her with a pleasant smile on his face that replaced his usual cocky grin. Weird.

I kinda liked that smile.

I thought you would.

“Great, let’s go Karev.” She walked towards her patient’s room with him trailing behind her. ‘He still has the same effect on me. He doesn’t want the things you do, Addison. Stop trying to convince yourself that he does.’ “So just prep Mrs. Anderson for surgery and I’ll meet you in OR one. Kay?”

“Fine.” Ah, there it was. In fact Alex hadn’t changed, because there was that smart ass tone that he loved to use. Oh and there’s the smirk.

“Fine.” Addison spun on her heel and walked purposefully down the hallway, her heels clapping on the ground loudly.

.xoXox.

“Ten blade. So I heard you were working in neonatal a lot lately, Karev.”

“Uh yeah. I guess.”

That was a lie.

A bad one.

You were always in there.

Yeah, I was.

“So you’re changing your specialty choice? I never thought you’d change it to my services.”

“Yeah well, I wasn’t planning on it, but I guess I changed my mind.” She swore she could see his eyes squint a little. He was smiling under his mask, and she had no idea it was her fault.

I actually did know you were smiling because of me.

Sure you did.

What, I did!

“The mother is going to be fine, Karev come help me with the baby. Dr. Bailey will you close please?”

They both walked silently down to the NICU where the baby was under full care. There were a few complications, but other than that the surgery had gone surprisingly smooth. Alex’s voice broke the silence. “Do you think she’s going to be alright?”

“Yeah, she’s a little fighter, she should be fine.” Addison responded with a small smile. They walked through the doors and she immediately began checking Baby Anderson’s vitals. “She seems to be doing better already, she’s breathing on her own, steady heartbeat, perfect blood pressure… she should be perfect by morning. She’s pretty isn’t she? Strong grip too.” Alex watched as Addison talked, realizing it was more so to herself than to anyone else. He walked up behind her, possibly a little closer than what would normally be considered “acceptable,” but she didn’t tense or move so he figured she was alright with it.

It was a little close…

You didn’t mind.

No, I loved it.

Yeah you did.

Shut up.

“Your eyes light up when you talk about babies. You want kids, don’t you?” He spoke in a hushed tone, and his breath tickled the back of her neck as she tried to resist a shiver.

She spoke not much louder than a whisper, but he was close enough that he could hear every word, breath, and crack in her voice. “I can’t. I want one so badly, but I can’t.”

“Addison, you would be a great mother. You would love that kid more than anyone else in the world could, what do you mean you can’t?”

Sorry for pushing you.

It’s okay, someone needed to.

“I mean, Karev, that I can’t. I can’t have children because Karma decided to hate me. I can’t have children because my ovaries joined Karma’s team. I can’t have children because I don’t have a damn person to go home to at night, much less someone to have a baby with. I can’t have children.” There were tears in her eyes, begging to be let free, but she kept them in, just like she always does.

You could’ve cried, I would’ve understood.

I wouldn’t have.

A simple “Oh” was all that he would allow to come out of his mouth.

“Go tell the father that his wife and baby are going to be fine.”

“Okay.” He rested a gentle hand on her shoulder and then left without another word.

.xoXox.

“So, you want to grab drinks at Joe’s?” Addison was finishing putting her coat on as she stood in the intern’s locker room threshold.

“Nah, I think I’m just going to head over to Grey’s house. Party tonight. Hey, it’s Meredith, there’s going to be a lot of alcohol, want to come with me?”

She hesitated for a second, after all, it’s Meredith. Her ex-husband’s fiancé. Screw it. “I’d love to come.”

.xoXox.

“Wow, she’s smashed.” Addison and Alex were starring at a glossy eyed Meredith as she danced on the table.

“Alex! Bring the tequila baby boy! Bottoms up!” Christina shouted out to him drunkenly, and he got up off of the couch to find more. After setting the new bottle down on the table he turned the music down, and then back up after getting screamed at, and then made his way back over to a tired Addison. Almost everyone was gone now. There was only the interns, Derek, Burke, and Addison still over. The house was trashed, along with majority of its residents. Tomorrow would be fun.

“You look tired, want me to take you home?”

“I don’t wanna get up.” She wined like a little girl.

You just wanted to sleep with me.

I wanted to sleep on the couch.

Sure.

“Okay, well then I’ll get some blankets and carry you up to my room and you can sleep in there tonight.”

“Where are you supposed to sleep?”

Next to me.

I wanted to say that so bad.

You should’ve, I was tipsy, I probably would’ve said yes.

Damn it.

Awww.

“I’ll sleep down here once everyone leaves.” He gave her a reassuring smile in response to her unsure one.

“Okay… if you’re sure.” She seemed slightly disappointed, but he decided it surely wasn’t because of what he thought.

“I am.” He helped her off of the couch and led her upstairs, opened the door, and pulled down the sheets. “I’ll grab something you can sleep in.”

“Thank you. It feels so good to lay down in a bed. That couch is terrible.”

He chuckled lightly. “I know. All I have are these boxers and a big shirt, do you mind?”

“No that’s great, that’s what I used to sleep in when De-, that’s fine.”

“Okay, well I’ll be downstairs if you need anything, do you, need anything?”

“No thanks, I think I’m good. Night.”

“Goodnight, Addison.”

“Alex? Thank you, by the way, for letting me stay the night.”

“No problem.” I love you.

I love you too.

.xoXox.

Three years later.

“You look gorgeous.” Alex looked at Addison adoringly. She really did look stunning. She walked towards him, with one hand on her large stomach and another outstretched, giving him a quick kiss and hug.

“How was your day?” They sat down on the couch, Addison in his lap with her back turned to him and his arms around her waist. She placed both hands on her stomach, and he placed his atop hers.

“It was good, how was home? Did you do any more in the nursery?”

“I wanted to wait for you. I didn’t know what color to paint it. I’m thinking either a light baby pink, or a pale purple.”

“See, this is why we should’ve started earlier.” He kissed her neck sweetly, to let her know he wasn’t upset. “I think the baby pink.”

“Yeah? Okay, me too. I’ll have the painters come tomorrow, and I’ll order the crib and everything tomorrow since you’re going to be home.”

“How are the cravings today? Is it still chocolate?”

“Chocolate, salsa, cranberries, and apple butter.” She rattled off the foods proudly. “I couldn’t decide which one I wanted first, so I mixed it together.” Alex crinkled up his nose in disgust, although her cravings were incredibly adorable.

“Well, I got you some more chocolates, just in case.”

“See, this is why I keep you around.” She gave him a lopsided grin, to let him know she was only joking. He placed the box in her hand, and ordered that she save the biggest one for last. As Addison worked her way down to the last chocolate truffle, Alex flipped through the channels. When he realized she only had the biggest one left, he picked it up before she could get to it first.

“Hey! That’s mine.” She pouted.

He split it open before she could complain anymore, and revealed a stunning diamond ring, sitting in the middle of a presentation box. “Addison, Addie look at me.” She turned around in his lap, mouth open wide and eyes glistening with happy tears. A lone tear slipped down her cheek and into her lap. “I’ve loved you since day one. I’ve never wanted anything as badly as I want you. Addison, you’re so incredibly talented, beautiful, loving and generous. You’ve taught me so many things, about being the best doctor, and person, I could possibly be. I’d be lucky to spend the rest of my life with you. You and baby Brendalyn-Claire are the most important things in my life.  All I want is to be by your sides, always and forever. There’s only one more thing that I could possibly ask for to make my life any more perfect than it already is, and that’s, Addison Forbes Montgomery, marry me?”

That night was amazing.

You’re amazing.

Did you know Brendalyn kicked as soon as you asked? It’s almost like she was telling me to say yes.

She’s a smart little girl.

Aren’t you happy she got what she wanted?

Incredibly.

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Hopefully the ending wasn’t too cheesy, but I’m the hopeless romantic and I couldn’t really write it any other way. Believe me, I tried, but I stuck with this version. I’ve always imagined Alex as the closet romantic type of guy, so there ya go. Thoughts?

babywonder7

Pasts. They’re said to be the key to your future. The past is what you are, what you build upon. It follows you everywhere, and there’s no escaping it. It’s a little thing called baggage, and everyone has it, some are just more open about it. And some, some can’t help what gets out about their past. In the end, though, it always comes up sometime. The answer isn’t to run, because it’ll only follow. The answer is to face it, even if that means airing your dirty laundry for the entire world to see. And in some cases, that’s just the way it happens… unfortunately.

She left. There wasn’t the slightest clue to anyone else that she was anymore unhappy than she’d been in the last two and a half years, but they were so wrong. The longer she stayed, the more days she suffered through, the worse it got. Everything began piling up, and she felt trapped. Most would cower down, but she wasn’t most. She was strong, and capable. She didn’t have a problem with fighting for what she wanted. So on a typical Seattle day, cold, wet and depressing, she packed up her belongings and traveled the distance to Los Angeles for good, and didn’t dare look back.

A woman so accomplished, running from her past. And God, what a past she’d had. Most would sympathize for anyone that had to endure half of the things she did, but for some reason, no one liked to take pity on Addison Montgomery. Maybe it was because she was accomplished, wealthy, tall and gorgeous. With fiery red locks and beautiful Italian shoes, and the body of a super model; everyone envied Addison. The girls wanted to be her, the boys wanted to be with her. It went both ways, and she was well aware of it.

She wasn’t who they all thought she was. She put on this cover; she displayed perfection, professionalism and determination. She seemed absolutely indestructible. On the inside, Addison was just like a little girl, trying desperately to break out of her shell, but scared to death of the consequences. She wasn’t strong like they thought, but instead every rumor or hurtful remark recited by others killed her inside.

She didn’t know how much longer she’d be able to take it, much less willing to deal with this day after day. She was sick of being beat down and called names. She wasn’t about to live through another year. She loved Derek, and she loved Mark, but there was no way in hell she’d go through this for anyone. How did she survive these years, how was she able to overcome all of the hurt and pain? Maybe someone who cared about her enough could tell you, but in Seattle, finding that person could be very close to impossible.

No one seemed to care about the fragile redhead, and that was painful enough in itself. You’d think with an ex-husband and an ex-lover, both who promised you forever and always, you’d have enough love to last you a lifetime. But there always was one man that was constantly overlooked, kind of like Addison herself.

Alex Karev was a gentle loving man under his rough exterior. He played the role of a cocky, young, wannabe hotshot surgeon without a care in the world. He mouthed off to colleagues and patients, and didn’t give a damn about anything other than his career in Plastic Surgery. Sadly enough, like everyone else he had his own story to explain why he is the way he is. And again, sadly, his is probably much worse than most.

With an abusive parent and a mother that did nothing but defend your father’s cruel behavior, it’s almost as if you’re taking the blows from your father’s fist personally. To watch day in and day out as his mother was hurt physically and emotionally absolutely killed Alex inside until finally, he lost it.

Now, years later, he was still regretting it. Not having a father, or a mother, because you were only trying to protect your own family at the tender age of teenage years takes its toll on a guy. I don’t care what age you are, it still hurts when you don’t have a father to be there, or a mother to talk to. It hurts everyday to be Alex Karev, just like it hurts to be Addison Montgomery. But their persuasive covers were excellent, as no one suspected anything out of the ordinary.

She walked peacefully down the hallway, with an artful smile practiced to perfection. He could see right through it. She wasn’t happy to be there, she didn’t want to be there. But this was her job, and if there was one thing she never said no to, it was her job. She’s been burying her feelings in it for years, so just because Derek was out of her life doesn’t mean she’s going to change that. Now she had a new hurt to bury, and that’s the memories of her divorce.

Alex walked up to Addison and politely offered an open hand, which she quickly placed the patient’s chart in. She offered him a small smile, which he returned, but with a questioning look in his eye.

So maybe it was a whirlwind romance, and maybe it was there all along. Maybe, maybe we were just waiting for it to happen and become apparent that it was true. Whatever the case is, I’m so happy it was you. I knew it was, but sometimes you aren’t lucky enough to find your true love the first time. The weak stay with the one they chose first, but the strong move on to the one and only. We’re the strong, because we found each other, when we couldn’t even find ourselves. I was lost until I found you, I just didn’t know it yet.

Title: Shattered

Author:  babywonder7  

Rating: PG, deals with character death.

Disclaimer:All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual. 
 
Pairing/Character: Addison/Kevin, Callie, Naomi

Summary: Five days of ruined dreams, one hundred twenty hours of broken lives, seven thousand, two hundred long seconds of unconscious thoughts." HotCop One-Shot. 

Author's Note: I wrote this one a long time ago, so hopefully it's not too bad.. my writing has definitely changed a bit since then.(: Hope you enjoy!

 
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Rain soaked her windows as she concentrated on the waves that crashed against the shore, the sand brutally beaten until the waves are consumed into the vast ocean and muster the strength to continue their assault. Five days. Five days of ruined dreams, one hundred twenty hours of broken lives, seven thousand, two hundred long seconds of unconscious thoughts.

 Broken is a term that’s used loosely nowadays, so she would be best described as shattered, possibly crumbled?

Her friends sit at her bedside, but she is unaware of their presence. All she wants was everything she had a little less than a week ago. It was one random, routine call. One speeding ticket. One threat. One bullet.

Since when did her life turn to something so morbid? She should’ve expected it. This is how it always happens with her. She’d become happy, and then it would all be taken away from her. It’s how she’s learned to live, it’s what’s she’s come to expect of her life.

So maybe she should be out there today, on that beach as his ashes are spread about in front of his many loved ones. His brothers, the officers that stood by his side when Addison couldn’t, stood watching the tiny pieces that were supposed to be all hers today, their wedding day, be scattered across the never-ending waters. But she can’t seem to drag herself out of bed, so she watches silently through the window.

The image replayed in her mind, the drunken driver reaching behind him… Kevin drawing his gun. And then the drunken man being faster than the undeserving police officer, endangering his life for the safety of others. She sees him falling to the ground as the driver speeds off, with help arriving soon, but far too late. The life of another innocent human being taken away with the pull of a trigger.

The dress haunts her, hanging in the corner waiting to be pulled on, buttoned, laced, and zipped up, walked carelessly down the aisle to her beloved. It would never be worn by her again, the one time being the only time in the dressing room of the bridal store. His tux lay at the bottom of her bed, she’s hugging his favorite shirt and wearing his boxers as his and her friends try their hardest to sustain composure and plead for her to eat.

The services are over, a few officers and some friends straggle behind pretending to tidy up, but secretly making sure she’s alright. She says she’ll take a walk on the beach, and they say they’ll be there when she’s back. She nods and steps out the door silently, and maybe her looks are deceiving her, but she swears that she sees him. She blinks her eyes, still there. Walking towards him it seems like no matter how many steps she takes, no matter how far she reaches out to him, he continues moving further away. And then, another blink, and he’s gone.

She comes barreling into the house as fast as she can, tears tracing her cheeks and falling to splash on the floor. Friends turn quickly, and some run after her, but are met with a door slammed in their face. They understand.

When their baby is brought up to see her, she forgets for a moment. Until those big beautiful eyes look up at her and she sees him again. The baby sees her mother cry so she begins wailing uncontrollably, because after all, every little girl wants to be just like her mommy. She tries without fail to coax the sleepy baby back into her previous slumber, and tries to sleep herself. As her daughter snuggles against her chest, she has to remind herself every time she wakes up within the night why there isn’t a warm body next to her. She’s thankful her sobs don’t wake her sleeping newborn, because she’s not sure she’d have to strength to do anything about it. She knows Callie and Naomi are there, but she doesn’t want to hassle them, they’re going through enough already.

She wakes in the morning, her first words, “Was it a dream?” Both friends shake their head. She hands them the baby girl and tells them she’s probably hungry, and then closes her eyes, hoping tomorrow will come soon.

Five years later…

Addison pulls on her dress, buttons, laces, and zips it up. Callie and Naomi are there, one holding her bouquet, the other holding her veil. Her daughter races into the room, asking if it’s time. Both girls look beautiful, Addison glowing in all white, and her daughter who looks more gorgeous than ever in her flower girl dress. She’s a spitting image of both her mother and father. She’s the perfect little angel when she wants to be, but she has a tendency to throw temper tantrums when she doesn’t get her way. They’re traits both Mark and Derek say are inherited from Addie. Her daughter is strong willed and driven, just like her father, but she’s tender and kind, like both of her parents.

Her back door opens and the music starts playing, she walks down the aisle, which is really her back steps and the sandy beach, to her beloved standing under a beautiful, flowery arch. White chairs litter the beach in rows, and standing guests turn to see the bride glide carelessly down the aisle. She smiles at her groom, waiting for her to meet him at the altar.

She sees him, sitting on the beach directly behind her soon-to-be-husband, where a few of his ashes were scattered during earlier years. She knows she’s the only one with sights of him, and she likes it that way. He’s smiling, and he’s wearing the same tux that’s still tucked away in her closet. She mouths ‘I love you’, and most onlookers think she’s saying it to the groom, but she knows it’s to them both.

Then, during the last words spoken from the priest’s mouth, she glances to where he was sitting only to see the sandy beach and ocean waves that have replaced his form, and when the priest finished with “You may kiss your bride,” she smiles and knows that she made the right choice.

Thoughts?

Title: Just One (More) Night - Prompt
Author: babywonder7 
Pairing/Character: Peryl
Fandom: Mamma Mia! or Peryl
Rating: PG?
Summary: I’m not sure there’s really even a plot to summarize.. but, this is the unraveling of, hopefully, another night.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author's Note: Hope you guys like this! I felt the urge to write another one, kind of along the lines of the, “Just One Night,” prompt, but changed up a little bit because I never could fully follow rules.. Always have to be different, this one. So anyways, let me know what you think!(: I feel the need to include this again: I am in no way saying I want Meryl with Pierce, Meryl has/was/or is with Pierce, or anything of the sort. (Please read disclaimer if you have any doubts)

 ________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The sound of a heavy knock resounded off of the small hallway’s delicate walls. Breathes traded back and forth between the door and his lungs, long and drawn out, trying desperately to be calming, but that’s really just another lie he’s trying to tell himself. Like the one about him not wanting to be here, or the other one about him being in love with his wife. These things, little white lies turned huge elephants in the room, are just a few of the mistruths he’s been telling himself to justify the situation he’s currently in, because if he told himself the truth, he’d be faced with the fact that he is, and always has been, absolutely in love with the woman on the other side of this door, and he wants more than anything for her to be his, rather than another’s.

Another knock, another breath, and then he feels her, he knows that she’s peeking through the small hole in the door with her beautiful blue eyes, searching for what she already knows lies on the other side. He feels her smile through the wooden barrier, despite the fact that she won’t admit that she actually wants nothing more than for him to be here. He braces himself for any abrasive comments he knows she doesn’t mean, and plans a way to push his way past her so he can work some sense into that stubborn, yet gorgeous, head of hers.

She opens the door a crack, as if opening the door more than an inch would give away all of their secrets and set free every mistruth.

You wouldn’t have to open the door to do that; you’d only have to look in her eyes.

He places a cold hand on the door, missing her warm touch now more than ever, as he tries but misses her gaze. She won’t look him in the eyes, and even he can understand why. When the object of your forbidden desires is staring you straight in the face, you probably wouldn’t want to give into it either, for fear that this really could be the last time.

She knows where this is going, and knows where it has gone. Thoughts about what could happen if they were caught out constantly circulate around in her mind, but at this point, who is to care when you’re this deep into things? Not her, and she realizes that the fact that she’s beyond the guilt stage lets her know that she really is screwed. And she also realizes that this phrase, the one about being “screwed,” can be interpreted in more ways than one, and for that fact, she is not ashamed. The fact that she’s married also doesn’t go overlooked. They like to avoid the topic of husbands, wives, children and anniversaries; acknowledgment makes the wrongs of what they’re doing so much more real, and the thing they want least is for this to become reality. Because if it does, that means they may just have to stop, and they both know that neither of them want that.

He slips his way into the room and she’s instantly captured in his strong arms and captivated by his blue orbs. How this man is capable of doing this to her is beyond her imagination, but she’s grateful he can, because here in this moment is when she’s begging for just one more night, and hoping beyond hope that she’ll be granted just this. If she were being honest with herself she’d admit that she wants much more than one more night, but honesty isn’t one of their strong suits, unless it comes to each other.

He’ll tell her anything she wants to know. The deepest and darkest depths of his skeletal closets will come right out to her if she asks him. There’s not a way that he’d be able to close up the floodgates of his mouth to stop the easy flow of words that seem to spew each and every time they come in contact, and the same goes for her. She wouldn’t keep a single thing from him if he asked.

And this fact scares the hell out of her.

If he asked her to divorce her husband of thirty-some years right now, the horrible thing is, she probably would, just to spend eternity in his arms. So she carries on with him, allowing him to take her into that abyss that only he knows how, and she continues to hope beyond hope that they never get caught, so they can have just one more night, and another, and another.

Because she bagged Bond. And she’s not about to let him go that easily, and he’s never going to let go, either.

Fin.

Title: Our First Kiss (Prompt)
Pairing/Character: Peryl
Fandom: Mamma Mia!
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The untold story of how they shared their first kiss.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author's Note: This is my first time writing Peryl, and after a few
requests, I gave in. I'd like to note that I am a huge Strummer shipper,
and I am in no way saying I want Meryl with Pierce, Meryl has/was/or is
with Pierce, or anything of the sort. (Please read disclaimer if you have any doubts)
I love my Don/Meryl ship, but a girl has got to sneak a little Pierce fiction in there every once in a while, right? If you don't agree, then please, don't read.(:

______________________________________________________________________________________


She didn’t ask for this.

She didn’t even want this.

This entire situation was completely and unexpected forced upon her.

At least, that was the story she was sticking to.

For now.

Because being pressed up against your co-star’s door, lips smashed sloppily and yet so perfectly together, hands roaming and breathes coming out in ragged puffs when a little bit of oxygen was able to make its way in, was not an ideal explanation to have to spell out to any innocent bystander that just happened to walk by during such a perfect, long-awaited – not that she was telling anyone that little piece of information- kiss. She entertains the thought of someone asking for her autograph and picture, with what she’s sure would be a nice, perfectly executed love bite on her neck and swollen, chapped lips.

Did she mention they were outside of his hotel room? Couldn’t she get charged for something along the lines of indecent exposure for a rendezvous like this?

The intoxicating smell of his aftershave just happened to be caught be the warm air around them and was carried to her nostrils, the scent sending chills down her spine and causing the slight shake in her knees. Jesus Christ, the man knew how to kiss. She couldn’t quite get herself to worry about the possibility of another person walking by… in fact, she couldn’t bring herself to focus on anything else but the fact that this undeniably gorgeous man had the most perfect teeth and soft lips she’d ever laid eyes on, or kissed. Dear God, she might just melt right here. She knows that if she doesn’t make it into his hotel room, and fast, this little encounter is going to turn into a huge public splash and a pretty, pink huge bulletin on Perez Hilton’s lovely site, not to mention every other news broadcast sent out at five o’clock the next morning.

If she took the time to actually look at her watch, she’d realize that that was only an hour and a half away, and this moment had been lasting for a good twenty minutes.

She entertains the thought of this even making it on both CNN and FOX, because it would be such big news, in between the political rants and shouting lawyers, and lets out a little giggle for being so daring. Because come on, this is Meryl-freaking-Streep we’re talking about, and she plays her cute little innocent role, but this woman is made with nothing containing innocence, which Pierce can easily verify right about now. And if you asked him, he’d certainly tell you.

She stumbles as he quickly changes his footing, and now he’s pressed even further against her, stealing her breath as she breaks apart and he latches his beautiful mouth to her neck without missing a beat, while stroking her cheeks with his hands. One of her hands halts against the wall, first tense and spread, then clawing at the wallpaper she hasn’t even gotten the chance to admire, as his lips trail down to her collarbone. The other hand flies into his hair, which she begins tugging unceremoniously when this whole thing just becomes too much for her, and yet, she’ll never ask him to stop.

Hell, at this point, she doesn’t know how this even started in the first place. But at this point, she seriously doesn’t give a fuck. So when he asks her if she wants to stay for a drink, she nods her head quickly and breathlessly.

Because they both know that was the biggest lie he has ever put into question form, and there was no way in hell they were even going to make it to the proximity of the bar within their first two times.

After all, their very first call time on set would be at eight that morning, they had four and a half free hours until then, and they knew exactly how those would be spent.

“Oh god.”

Fin.

The sleek city streets gleam with a brisk evening’s liquid snow. Tires underneath lustrous, brilliant cabs splash gritty, oily grime upon littered concrete. The surroundings seem statuesque as they extend toward the heavens and ascend upon the sky. Twinkling lights and steady streams of public scuttle about for their eleventh-hour items; Barney’s and Neiman’s, Sak’s and Macy’s, everywhere and everyone, dashing around. All but one. Standing still, calm and cool, draped in vintage; Chanel and Prada, Christian Louboutin’s grace her perfected, pedicured feet when she peeks her leg out of the black Mercedes door, after Roy side steps around the vehicle to unlatch the door for her, giving way to a clichéd, “Anything else for you, Miss-?”

He's interupted.

She speaks in a voice so relaxed and controlled that it’s enough to frighten most – how else would she obtain every whine, whim and demand she verbalizes? Everyone stops to gaze, whisper and fawn.

They’d trade their reputation to be a fraction of her.

They entertain the thought of being in her shoes, boasting her clout and acquiring her exquisite taste in all things materialistic. Silky, faultlessly coiffed hair devoid of any color lands above her ears and brows, with a single tendril that lies upon her forehead. Have you ever witnessed so many jealous and wistful stares? She has.

Back within her comfort zone, she places delicate bare fingers on her spotless white MAC keyboard, most likely typing notes on the latest issue or a rare personally composed e-mail to yet another ineffectual designer - there’s a reason she has multiple assistants. Clean lines and cream walls surround her as she glides behind her contemporary glass desk to look out upon the city beyond her great window… and then she calls for more Starbucks. At her beck and call, multiple employees, all hers of course, scatter around the office – looking nothing less than perfect – waiting for their orders from the extraordinaire herself.

It’s extremely hard to envision someone like her, with seemingly all the power one could muster, anything other than vindictive, demanding and expectant.

But, see her with those she loves, and it gives you an entirely different outlook. Late every night, she glides through the threshold of her multiple-story townhouse. She brushes the hair out of her girls’ eyes, their red locks shining brilliantly underneath their custom made princess light fixtures. She can’t deny them anything. She tucks each into bed, with a light kiss to their forehead, and a lively reassurance that there actually are not any monsters in their undeniably spectacular and sprawling walk-in closets.

She even goes as far as to check under their lavish raw silk comforters – pink for Caroline, blue for Cassidy – and promises not to turn off their bathroom light, and of course she would never dare depart from their rooms before they fall into their slumber.

She sits and watches, like the most proud mother you’ve ever seen. But those fortunate enough to have witnessed this relationship she shares, the true person she is underneath this impeccable persona that is undeniably her, consist of her beloved daughters and the three ex-husbands that exasperate her to no end.

Really, she’s only a lioness protecting her cubs, the only difference; she will tear you apart if you choose to cross her.

Sharp chills dash down her spine, the breeze blows her hair haphazardly across her slender shoulders and the wine glass she clasps in her hand is now half empty along with its bottle as she sloshes the fiery liquid around the glass a few times, gently presses it underneath her perfect nose, and alas takes a small sip, fading lipstick staining the outer edges of the crystal glass she collected at her wedding.

Or were they from… No, she’s almost positive it was her wedding.

The alcohol is slowly but surely starting to do its much sought after job of clouding her senses. It took it long enough, she thinks, a little on the tipsy side now.

Another glass poured, she gulps down three quarters of the bitter amber wine and sets it down on the table beside her.

Pushing herself upon unsteady feet, she begins to pace, this way and that, swaying left and right. She can’t remember how many glasses it’s been now, and frankly, she doesn’t care to keep count anymore. It doesn’t matter. Halting on the edge of the steps, she lowers herself to her knees and lets a tear fall satisfyingly slowly to the soft beige sand beneath her freshly pedicured feet.

At least I still grasp a shard of pride, the thought rushes through her mind, although she’s not sure why she’s worried about Ruby red toes at a time like this.

A year. A damn year she has made it through here. In all honestly, she hates this god awful place. But, being who she is, who she was raised to be, Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery is not a damn quitter. Seattle was hell from the start, but there, she was able to adjust, though she’d never admit such a thing. To be honest, she might have even liked the rain, missed it a little now. Rain was depressing, and Addison was sick of bounding around with a fake – like most things in LA – smile on her beautifully broken face when all she truly wanted was to sit and wallow in her well understood self pity. The dreary sky and crystal clear tears that fell from the depths of the unending deep blue void easily collided with hers, and she liked that. Maybe in Seattle people didn’t see her pain like they did here. In Seattle, no one cared to ask questions. No one wished to spare a moment of their own conscious heart-break to ask about another’s, and Addison liked - no - missed that. She doesn’t like inquiring words or prying eyes.

Another glass. Another lipstick stain, taking up residence on the opposite side of the glass.

A short rap at the door brings her out of her thoughts and she struggles to compose the tears she didn’t realize had even begun to gather in the corners of her blue-green eyes. She tugs at the bottom of her shirt, trying to pretend to care about wrinkles or appearance. Maybe she’d let herself go, that’s another thought to ponder later. Looking through the peephole she’s unsure of whether or not she should open the door, tell them to get the hell out of her front yard, and slam the door in their face, or just pretend that she’s not at home. She really didn’t feel like being much of an accommodating, people person lately. Everyone understood.

“Addison, damn it, I know you’re home. Answer the fucking door.”

It looks like she’s going with the first option. She opens the door and the person on the other end looks shocked that she’s in such a… mess? Is that the correct word? Because Christ, she looks as if death had hit her smack in the face. But, hadn’t it?

Her arrangement didn’t exactly go as planned. There wasn’t any talking, not a door slamming; only uninterrupted eye contact haunted the room. Neither knew what to say, they searched for the answers in each other’s eyes, but the other was just as lost. A sole tear glided down Addison’s cheek and fell to mix with the plush carpet surrounding her feet before her visitor could catch it with their rough thumb. Addison looked down to the ground, and then slowly turned, eyes still focused downward, and led the way numbly to the couch.

A ten thousand dollar couch she couldn’t recall even sitting on until now.

Life in LA, was practically pointless she’d decided at that moment. She hadn’t grown, she would’ve moved on better if she were in Seattle. They sat in silence. Without a word, Addison stood and went into the kitchen to start pulling the stronger alcohol, they were going to need it with the conversation that was about to be had.

She puts forth first a beer for him, he shakes his head, so she passes forward the brand new whiskey bottle and he nods approvingly. The corners of his mouth still point downward towards the carpet as he grasps the bottle authoritatively, like he’s letting it know it’s his option how much he’s taking from it, because taking control of alcohol is practically the only thing he can possibly take control of at the moment. Everything else is a downward spiral of misery for him, and most likely for her too. He watches as she takes a straight swig from her vodka bottle and grimaces, but the look on her face looks satisfied as she settles back into the couch.

Now I remember why I bought this couch, it’s damn comfortable. Obviously her thoughts were beyond blurred if she was thinking about luxury furniture at a time like this.

She thanks god as she drunkenly comes to the realization that she is, finally, fully intoxicated. She doesn’t feel the numbness everyone else says they have felt after consuming this much alcohol.

Perfect. I always have to be unique.

All she wants is to not feel. Feeling things means having “feelings,” and all those have done for her is caused her pain. Love, hatred, loneliness, happiness, regret, loss, passion, betrayal; all of these things had gotten her into trouble at some point, and she’s honestly wondering at this point how she isn’t being treated for chronic depression after enduring the life she has conquered.

He takes an incredibly long drink out of his own liquor bottle, and then chases it with her own, making at face at the taste but nevertheless enjoying thoughts of the soon to be oblivion that should come in time. He feels her eyes burning into the side of his head, but he isn’t about to look at her. He knows he has a problem, so does she, but that’s an issue for another day; not today.

Her head slides lazily, heavily down the back of the couch until it crashes into his broad shoulder and doesn’t move from its new found position. He doesn’t mind, he needs a little bit of close contact at a time like this. Right then he realizes she’s been at the drinking thing much longer than he has as he spots the empty wine bottle and almost dry wine glass on the outside table. He shakes his head sadly as he looks down on the gorgeous red hair sprawled across his chest. He wishes, god he wishes he could do something, anything, to help her. He’d take her pain upon himself if it meant this woman, this gorgeous, close to perfect, lovely, undeserving woman - who is as close to a daughter as he’d ever been - could feel the happiness again that she possessed at one time or another.

“I know, Addison. I know about the last two months.”

Addison gulped subconsciously and tried to act unsure of what exactly he’s talking about, but then curses the alcohol as she sees his eyes still searching hers for a hint that he was supposed to continue talking. He knew exactly what had gone on, and so had she.

“Two months ago I thought I was pregnant, I was happy, and I had him. I woke up the next morning, we drove to the Wellness center, stepped out of the car and met up, hand in hand and made our way through those doors up until we reached Na-,” her voice cracked and she noticed for the first time that he was wiping tears from her porcelain face, her tears. “Naomi’s office.” She finished. “She told us we weren’t pregnant, and it killed me inside. He took my hand, and I knew he wasn’t only there because there was a possible baby. For once in a very long time, he was there for me. We walked out, and I recall him supporting my weight, I felt light-headed, and he whispered in my ear, ‘We’ll try, we’ll try and we’ll have a baby.’ I don’t think he’s said ‘we’ll’ so many times in a sentence, and then I really knew things would be alright. We’d be alright. We were in love.”

“Are in love, Addison. Are in love.”

“Richard, we can’t still be. He’s gone, and I’m, I’m here.” She was gasping for air as she concluded her last sentence and Richard wrapped his muscular arms around her and pulled her in his lap in a fatherly embrace and held her while she cried.

“God damn it! I was happy!” Addison outburst loudly and shocked Richard slightly after around ten minutes of silence, he jumped a little. “I was fucking happy!” More tears. She was working incredibly hard for just a single breath. But my god, she was going to say these words. She was going to get them out of her. “And then a month ago, the stupid stick said yes, and we cried with joy and held each other the entire night. I couldn’t remember the last time he cared enough to hold me like that, he was back.” A short sob escaped her mouth and she continued. “I miscarried. Three days ago. And he said, ‘We’ll try again.’ But for fuck’s sake I was so sick of us trying that I screamed at him, yelling it wasn’t worth it. Richard, why the hell would I say such a thing? He wanted a kid just as much as I did, and even more I wanted him! He grabbed me and pulled me as tight as he possibly could to him and immediately it calmed me down. He had this power over me, this perfect control that was the best thing in the world to me. He was perfect, and we agreed to keep trying. He said he’d make dinner that night, two nights ago. He got into his car and never came back again.” Addison, who was visibly shaking was fighting hard to maintain her eye contact with Richard. ”He didn’t come back. At forty something years old I never thought I’d be making funeral arrangements.” And nothing more would allow itself to come out of her mouth. She began hyperventilating and Richard tried his absolute hardest to calm her down. Now, it was at this exact moment in time in Los Angeles, two days after complete bliss, Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery had truly felt what it meant to touch bottom.

“We’re gathered to celebrate the life of Derek Christopher Shepherd…”

…

…

…

Richard’s phone rang and after identifying who the caller was, he excused himself immediately and answered the phone with a rushed tone, immediately asking if she was alright.

“Richard, I’m pregnant, and my baby’s father is dead. What the hell am I supposed to do now?” And more tears, and more sobs, and more deep breaths. Addison began to wonder if the heart-ache would ever disappear. Maybe, maybe people were born blessed with a life full of happiness, and maybe others were born into misery. Addison, pregnant, practically a widow considering the ex-Shepherds fell right back into husband and wife mode, and all alone, in fucking sunny LA.

She decided without any thought that she was moving back to Seattle the following day.

Fin.